New life, new blog

So where do I start now? So many things have happened in the last few months, especially in the last few weeks. My life has changed in so many ways, but so little at the same time. It's hard to explain. After 13 years, we've separated. Mostly my fault, at least I was the one who finally broke down and decided to move out. I'm not going to lie, it sucked. And it was hard. But it was the right thing to do. I will not go into details because this is a very private issue, and even if I wanted to talk about it, it is not fair to the other party.

I did want to talk about what I've discovered in the short time I've lived alone. First of all, this is truly the first time in my life I've had to fend for myself. So far I can't complain. Business is good, the kids are taking it fine, and other than my stupid Saab deciding that now it is a good time to start falling apart, and my new-found obsession with kitchen utensils, I'm doing pretty good. I always knew I had good friends, but until now I didn't realize how many and how extraordinary. After so many years I'm still a foreigner in many ways, and without their support I would have gone into the deep end. But they have kept me going, each in their own way, which really, is what has made it all easier. Some people listen, some people talk, some over coffee, some over the loud-ass music at Roddy's. Some see your empty fridge and buy you groceries, and others make sure you don't forget where and when soccer practice is. Others are patient and wait for you to be ready to call across the Atlantic and then hear what you have to say without passing judgment. And then, of course, there is my family, who are with me, no matter what. I'm so lucky to have them all.

True, I have had some disappointments as well, people who I never thought could behave in such a, I don't even know how to call it, righteous fashion, I guess. People who won't take off their glasses in order to put yours on to figure out what your life, feelings, and decisions are all about. People who say they're your friend and then shut the door on your fucking face because you don't do it - my own life, for god's sake! - their way. What a sad, sad deal they have going on...

I don't know how life will unfold, but I'm certain I will never be alone while it happens.